obama is a secret catholic

I wish I were making this up.

Twenty percent of Americans know for a fact that President Obama is a secret Muslim. There’s plenty of evidence to support this conclusion. He was the first President to hold a Seder in the White House, and his two top advisors, Rahm Emmanuel and David Axelrod, are token Jews, appointed by Barack just to throw us off. The President rarely attends church, citing time and logistical restraints. As a matter of fact, just about the only places he avoids like the plague are mosques.

But now a group of atheists, The Freedom From Religion Foundation, have unearthed the real story. Barack Obama is secretly a pawn of the Pope. He even chose a Catholic, Joe Biden as his second-in-command. But here’s the most damning piece of proof:

The Postal Service is set to release a stamp honoring Mother Teresa on August 26, 2010, which would have been her 100th birthday. Now, this war criminal was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. Who else has won the award? In fact, her supposed “good works” were really nothing more than a PR stunt for the Catholic Church, and Obama putting his stamp of approval on this conspiracy seals the deal.

The public’s been outraged that Obama spent too much time on international issues last year, except for those who were outraged he spent too much time on domestic issues. A lot of people were upset he spent so much time dealing with the economy, except for those who were upset he spent so much time dealing with health-care. He was way too partisan, while simultaneously being way too bipartisan. Citizens were furious the President abandoned Bush policies which kept us safe, except for those who were furious he hasn’t distanced far enough away from those policies.

Well, one thing we can all agree on. Barack Obama is a fascist communist Nazi New-World-Order isolationist Kenyan terrorist Muslim Catholic…

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2 responses to “obama is a secret catholic

  1. pino March 13, 2010 at 12:05 am

    Twenty percent of Americans know for a fact that President Obama is a secret Muslim.

    He’s not a secret Muslim…he’s a secret Socialist. At best.

    • noh8 March 13, 2010 at 12:50 am

      Thanks for stopping by.
      A lot of that was tongue-in-cheek, but there was one poll that came up with those numbers. How scientific it was, well, who knows…
      I know many progressives who are disillusioned that Obama isn’t liberal enough.

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